Dancing in the Minefields

The title of this post is actually the name of a song by Andrew Peterson. Here are a few of the lyrics:

And we're dancing in the minefields

We're sailing in the storms

This is harder than we dreamed but I believe

That's what the promise is for

That's what the promise is for

The link for the video and the whole song is here and is worth a look:

http://youtu.be/NtTa81LyuQM

This year has been one of tremendous change for our family. It hasn't all been "harder than we dreamed", but it has been a lot of change. We answered our calling to become Salvation Army officers and have completed our first year of training. Some of the changes felt overwhelming. Some were exciting. Some were sad. We have missed our life in Colorado tremendously. We miss our family and friends there. We have both been sad to leave the military life. Sometimes the homesickness has actually created a physical ache for me.

Some parts of our change this year have been great. We are learning a lot at Crestmont and I am realizing that I really like getting to work alongside Ryan in ministry. Our girls love school here. We have made some great new friends. One of the biggest blessings has been being close to family this year. Jenny and her husband George, and their kids, Anthony and Victoria live just a few minutes away in Long Beach. It has been really neat to be so close to them. And from December until June this year, Mom and Dad lived in San Pedro.

There's a lot of blogging to catch up on. It has been a busy year. I have been challenged, encouraged, blessed and excited to see where God is taking us. Sometimes it feels like Ryan and I are "dancing in the minefields" as we navigate this calling, our family and our future. I am reminded that God's promise to care for us is always true.

In My Daughter's Eyes

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero
I am strong and wise, and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be

In my daughter's eyes (Martina McBride)

Grace turned 9 yesterday and always on her birthday I think a lot about the gift she has been to me. God sent her at just the right time and I am so thankful that He sent her to us. Grace still loves art and is so creative. She is very passionate, which means good days are really good and hard days are really hard. She did great in 3rd grade- loving almost all of the subjects- except Science. She loves Zhu-Zhu pets, which are better for her mother than the tiny Polly Pockets from a couple of years ago. Her great wish in life is her own cell phone, which we aren't ready to give her yet. She loves having her nails done and is learning to put on make-up, which drives her Daddy crazy- especially because she is too pretty to need any make-up. Some of the pictures I am including are of her being enrolled as a Junior Soldier by Commissioner Swyers at our Rocky Mountain Congress last week. We are so proud of her and so privileged that she is part of her family. I pray every day that God protects her and that He helps me to be a good mother to her.

We Have These Moments

I was listening to "We Have These Moments" the other day in the car, and was finally inspired to get back to blogging. The repeated threats from Christie and Jen have also both been inspiration to get back at it.

I am amazed at how fast the moments fly by. Within the week, Grace will be finished with 3rd grade and Faith will be finished with Kindegarten. Andrew is well on his way to his 2nd birthday, Despite all of my attempts, these kids just keep getting bigger. This leaves me wishing I can find a way to slow things down just a little bit. I read somewhere recently that when you are talking about raising children "the days drag but the years fly by". This is true...somedays seem really long when we are starting with kids not wanting to get out of bed, a fickle 8 year old who thinks I don't know anything about hair or clothes, and finish the day with several choruses of "she hit me first, I don't like that dinner and I am not tired". But, on the other hand, I can remember vividly the first time I got to hold Grace, the first night of speed-rocking Baby Faith all night, and watching Andrew's sisters kiss him in the hospital.

So, we are working on holding these kids close, close, close while we have the chance, getting them ready for when we do have to let go and hoping (in the meantime) that we can find a way to slow the "Growing Up Clock" down just a little bit. Because I am afraid the moments we have really are slipping through my fingers like sand.

Andrew- 11 Months

Here we are...just a month away from Andrew's First Birthday. We are still having a lot of fun with him. He is pulling himself around on furniture and can walk with the help of his push toy. He can work out the sound of "da-da" but won't always say it when Ryan asks. I believe this is because he is waiting to talk until he can say "mama". In the last week or so, he has figured out how to open cabinet doors and drawers, which is a big help to me when he crawls around the living room opening the storage cabinets. He is still having a little bit of trouble with the concept of Peek-a-Boo- as you can see from the pictures. The picture of Andrew with his arms on his forehead is him playing peek-a-boo. We are still working on perfecting his peek-a-boo.

Also this month, Andrew is having to look for a new job. His working relationship with his mother is nearing an end because he won't do his part. Not only will he not help with any office tasks, he is now standing in his play yard and yelling at me, just so I will pick him up. He also throws his toys at me, just to get my attention. None of it is very helpful or productive in furthering the mission of The Salvation Army in El Paso County. So, we are working on what his next job will be. Hopefully something with more room to play and maybe even some other kids to play with.

All in all, we love this boy and are certain there are no other 11-month old boys named Andy cuter than him.

Faith is Five

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen..." A.A. Milne

I came across this quote not too long ago and it fits perfectly as I describe Baby Faith. She has told me in recent days, "I am not a baby, but my name in my family is Baby Faith." Faith has been a wonderful adventure for us. She wants to know everything about everything and she wants to know it all now. Faith most certainly belongs to her mother in that she loves waffles, cookies, cake and candy. She is also like her mother in that she hates to get up in the morning and requires lots of coaxing, soft talking and cuddling before she can function in the morning. She is very passionate about everything and this same passion for jumping headfirst into things sometimes gets her into trouble. She loves to dance...for those of you that have not had the chance to see her dance, I hope you get to see it soon- it is awesome! She is catching on quick with reading and is settling in to kindergarten (after a somewhat shaky start).

Faith is so smart- she gives us a run for our money in the questions she asks. We recently explained that Papa was at a meeting trying to help figure out how to make sure kids all over the world have enough to eat. Faith asked why the rich people don't just pay for the kids to eat. Faith recently asked why God won't talk to her- she said,"I lie on my bed and talk and talk and ask God questions and He will never answer me". I said we hear from God through our Bibles, music, stories and nature and she said she still wants to hear His voice.

Her birthday week was a busy one this year- a pool party at the Y, starting kindergarten, getting her own Nintendo DS and going to camp for Family Camp. She had cake for her birthday party and then Grandma Laverty's brownies for her birthday. She said she would love it if her job was to eat frosting everyday.

I don't know why God chose me to be Faith's mother, but I am thankful everyday that she was given to us.

It's Hard to Let Go

Baby Faith has talked all summer about going to school. She has talked about learning to read, being dropped off, being the boss and many other wonderful things. Even the first couple of pictures show my Faithie excited and ready for school. Grace has also been looking forward to school- we dropped off school supplies last week and met their teachers and they were both seemingly ready to start school.

So imagine our surprise when we get to the school and first go to drop off Gracie. She put her arms tightly around me, buried her face against me and began to cry. She whispered that she didn't know anyone, then didn't want to let go. The principal walked by and asked if she could help- I told her Grace was just a little bit nervous. She found a girl from Grace's class and that girl introduced herself and walked Grace back into class. Grace said she would be alright, but still looked uneasy as Ryan and I walked around the corner to Faith's classroom.

At the doorway of the Kindergarten classroom, Faith suddenly stopped. She said she didn't want to go in. I assured her that yes, she did- kindergarten was going to be a lot of fun. Her teacher greeted her and said how pretty she looked and Faith still wouldn't let go of my hand. She kept whispering that she did not want me to leave and more specifically, she did not want us to leave her there. She said, "please, mama, I don't want to go to school". I promised her she would have fun, pried my fingers out of hers and left with Ryan.

Let me tell you, that the significance of my girls having a hard time letting go, while I was working to let go was not lost on me.

After school, we were there before the bell rang. Grace looked lost when I walked into her classroom, but the teacher said she had a good day and Grace did earn two school dollars. Grace said recess was hard because she didn't have anyone to talk to, but that she liked music and Chapel. Faith said she got hit and slapped and kicked (her teacher assured us this is not true) and that no one likes her. After much talking, we convinced them to give it another try today. It didn't go much better with Faith today as she told me she wasn't ready for school. She said, "please take me with you".

So, I sit now and write this, wondering how the second day is going, remembering back to many times when I was new at school. I'm wondering if they had to eat alone, if they had anyone to run and play with at recess and if anyone wanted to be their partner for team projects. Wishing that I could be there with them and make some of the other kids see how great they are and how lucky they would be to have my girls as friends.

Andrew- 10 Months

It is hard to believe, but Andy is only 2 months from his first birthday. He is getting so big and learning so much. In the last month, he has learned how to get completely to a sitting position from lying down, has learned to wave "hi", has learned to pull himself up in his crib, and has learned to clap. He really likes it if you cheer for him and clap with him when he claps his hands. He also is really crawling- getting around really fast, and getting into almost everything. He pulls the trash can down at work and eats staples and paper off of the floor, so as you can see, he now has to be in the "baby jail" while we are at work. He is such a good boy...he spends a lot of time talking to the phone book in my office, but still won't help with any office work. Andy is just about finished with baby food. He really likes meatloaf and carrots, but categorically hates rice. In some of the more exciting news of the past month, he has just about stopped spitting up. He will still do it every once in awhile, just to make sure we are paying attention. I am including the picture of his hands just for fun- his daddy wants to know where his wrists are?